By Sara Sapia, Elder & Disability Law Clinic Student, Fall 2017

As their loved ones age, many people must confront how their parents, grandparents, or partners will continue to be cared for as their physical and mental health declines. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, approximately 69 percent of people over the age of 65 are expected to develop disabilities before they die, and 68 percent are likely to become unable to perform at least two activities of daily living or become cognitively impaired as a result.[1] So how do you decide what to do as a child, grandchild, or spouse when you witness your loved one’s health deteriorating?

‘Do I put them in a home?’ is one question that often comes to mind. The negative stigmas associated with nursing homes persist, including allegations of abuse, maltreatment, and neglect. On top of that, many people feel a sense of guilt or abandonment when they place their loved one in a nursing home, assuming that by doing so they are ‘giving up’ on them, and therefore often seek to avoid nursing homes altogether. Family dynamics can also come into play here, as a child may have promised his parents that he would never put them in such a home or his parents expressed that they wish to have a family member care for them instead. I must admit that when I think of my own parents I hope to be able to care for them myself into their old age and know I will do everything I can to keep them in a comfortable, safe environment as they grow older. I have also seen them struggle with these same concerns related to their own parents.

Long-term care by a family member, however, is not always possible. Potential caregivers typically have their own families and expenses and may not be financially capable of cutting back on their hours at work, or even quitting their job, to care for an aging family member. In addition, they may have their own chronic health conditions that prevent them from physically caring for someone else. To adapt to the needs of an ever-increasing elderly population, many new caregiving alternatives have been created. These include assisted-living facilities, continuing care retirement communities, in-home care services, and active adult daycare centers, all providing less restrictive means of aid for aging seniors, depending upon their level of disability. These provide families who are faced with aging loved ones options other than total care by a family member or admission to a nursing home to consider when looking for a safe, reliable, and comfortable plan for long-term care.

Because of the varying nature and costs associated with each of these options, it is important for family members to discuss their expectations for long-term care up front and ideally before a loved one’s health has deteriorated to the point where long-term care is necessary. Estate planning documents, such as a healthcare power of attorney and a living will, can also play a key role in these decisions. Ultimately, a person’s long-term care plan is a personal decision to be made by him and those closest to him based on his health, finances, and preferences.

[1] https://www.caregiver.org/selected-long-term-care-statistics